


better than i can

by masongrey



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Emotions, M/M, Pining, RuPaul All-Stars, lipsynch for your life, rujubee forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 05:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4209537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masongrey/pseuds/masongrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>suppose there are two drag queens. suppose they are best friends, together in everything they do. suppose they are forced apart and made to compete against each other, for something they both want more than anything, something they both deserve more than anything. suppose they love each other more than they love themselves. suppose one loves the other just a little bit more.<br/>- - -<br/>or the one where raven is in love with jujubee, and they lipsynch for their lives and everything crumbles<br/>beware of broken endings, i don't own these people. . . (if i did, i'd make it happen.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	better than i can

**Author's Note:**

> this is lipsynch is easily the one of the best I have ever seen, ever.  
> the connection these two people share is something truly beautiful, and it's not all too often that you really get to see people who are _together ___like that. the emotion was plain for all to see, and it sort of broke me. i haven't cried that much in a long while. I have so much respect and admiration for both of these queens, and for the bond they share, and the incredible drag they do. in three minutes or so, we got a glimpse of such deep, almost unreadable emotions that this story doesn't even really scrape the tip of the iceberg.
> 
>  
> 
> _i hope it's a nice tip, of a fucking awesome iceberg. :) enjoy._

jujubee was an enigma

one that raven didn't understand at first, or care to

one that raven completely underestimated

they met during

season two, they weren't too close

at first

things switched for raven

-somewhere along the line-

from dismissal to bewilderment

from bewilderment to respect

from respect to friendship

from friendship to longing

from longing to lust

from lust to loneliness

 

from loneliness, (those had been a long three years) to all-stars

from all-stars to this

this fucking mess

 

jujubee is breaking

he's coming apart at the seams

he's slitting his wrists and bleeding his heart onto the runway with every soft click of his stiletto heels, with every hot tear that slides down his face

it takes everything raven has not to sit down on the fucking stage and sob until they just send him away

_big black skies over my town_

jujubee is walking towards him, step by careful step

raven bites the inside of his cheek so hard it bleeds

_i'm in the corner, watching you kiss her_

raven shakes, trembles

juju's face says it all

_i'm spinning around in circles_

raven takes juju's hands, offers a soft smile, turns them in a slow circle

(raven's eyes are betraying far too much)

_i'm all messed up, i'm so outta line_

the song echoes, tauting

_but you don't see me standing here_

_i just came to say goodbye_

juju is walking away, arm stretched towards him, eyes lingering

raven chokes on a sob he won't let anyone hear

_somebody said you got a new friend_

_does she love you better than i can?_

and then, as quickly as it began,

it's over

and juju is running to him

and clinging to him

and sobbing desperately into his neck

and raven presses his fingers into juju's back

holds him like it will be the last time

and in his ear, whispers

three words

three little words

 

~~i love you~~

(i'm sort of new to this whole love thing, is what he doesn't need to say)

 ~~~~

and jujubee is falling

and choking

and panting

and in shock

and gasping, i can't breathe!

 

and raven knows that

if this is how it ends

between them

if this is it

if those three words

are all he gets

he will surely die

so

he runs to jujubee

helps him up, wipes away his tears

you look beautiful, juju whispers, so beautiful

raven pretends like his heart doesn't skip a beat

like that voice doesn't make him shake in his heels

so do you, he murmurs, tucking a stray lock of hair behind juju's ear, you look beautiful too

 

and it's the truth

it's always been the truth

 

there's not a dry eye on the soundstage

it's announced; they both get to stay

it's a joyous moment, really

 

but when juju hugs him,

buries himself in raven's chest again

~~where he belongs~~

raven feels like there's a stake twisting into his heart

and when juju cries quietly into his ear

four little words

 

i

love

you

too

 

everything is wonderful for a moment

 

and then juju whispers,

two more words

two more goddamned little

fucking words

that sidle in

and ruin everythin;

 

i'm

sorry

 

and the stake takes the final plunge,

the last snapping twist

and raven collapses against him

buries his face so far in juju's wig he may never be able to find his way out

~~does he really want to?~~

and jujubee holds him and sobs

raven is afraid to let any more

than a few tears

trail down his face

because

once he starts

he's not sure he'll ever be able to stop

 

_i'm right over here, why can't you see me?_

 

at the end, when all is said and done

jujubee goes home to chris

and raven goes home alone

neither got that crown

(a line was crossed somewhere, juju never could figure it out exactly.)

a few years later

he finds out that

they are engaged

he think's he'll wear drag to their wedding,

he knows juju will love that

he's ~~heartbroken, lovesick, terrified~~ fearless, raven is a sexy bitch, juju loves her audacity

it's not quite what he wants juju to love about him

but it's good enough

good enough

enough.

it will be enough. it will have to be.

he will make it enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading lovebugs  
> if you liked this please check out my other fic (come through), and message me on tumblr (justsweepitallup) if you want some more :P


End file.
